Romantically Frustrated?

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Romantically frustrated?
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By zahrah 2011-03-21 21:58:32
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/facepalm

Really? Just really? How is it hard to talk to another sex? Sorry to sound insensitive, but it's something you have to do every single day. When trying to build a romantic relationship, you speak to people you are interested in just the same as any other person you meet.
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 Ifrit.Bloodbathboy
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By Ifrit.Bloodbathboy 2011-03-21 21:58:33
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Phoenix.Dabackpack said:
Bismarck.Josiahfk said:
Phoenix.Dabackpack said:
Well, I was in a kind of "love triangle" a while back, but I don't think there's a geometric shape that exists which could describe what it was exactly. But I handled it the wrong way (doing nothing and hoping it to pass) and I'm still regretting it, because one of my close friends involved still holds a grudge, I suspect. And now I'm afraid to do anything else with love for that same reason. All my experiences have ended badly (not for myself, but for others).
ouch, you did nothing and your friend was hurt from that? They wanted you to intervene? And yeah understandable eeep > <

That's the paraphrased version; the person I liked was her best friend (very unlucky for me!) and it was clear that my other friend liked me, and when people found out that I liked this girl, BOTH of them got really angry at me for not handling it better.
Yes they can for sure!
Plus there's other people involved, nyeh. It's not fun, I'm on good terms with the girl I used to like, but the girl who liked me is still is angry at me (this happened several months ago). Guess girls can hold grudges.

EDIT: It wasn't that I was trying to manipulate anybody, but I didn't want ANYBODY to know any of this. I figured that I was willing to sacrifice my happiness to maintain the friendships we all had. But sadly, jealousy is not rational, and when this girl suspected it, she was not happy.
 Phoenix.Uzugami
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By Phoenix.Uzugami 2011-03-21 21:59:03
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Does always being tossed into that "close-friend" spot when I really like the girl in question, but she always tends to date horrible types of guys count? :<
 Asura.Matzilla
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By Asura.Matzilla 2011-03-21 22:00:37
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Phoenix.Uzugami said:
Does always being tossed into that "close-friend" spot when I really like the girl in question, but she always tends to date horrible types of guys count? :<

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By Serj 2011-03-21 22:00:51
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zahrah said:
/facepalm

Really? Just really? How is it hard to talk to another sex? Sorry to sound insensitive, but it's something you have to do every single day. When trying to build a romantic relationship, you speak to people you are interested in just the same as any other person you meet.

It's really, really hard. As a really shy guy, I assure you, it is really difficult. Nothing is a harder struggle than struggling with yourself.
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 Bahamut.Lolserj
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By Bahamut.Lolserj 2011-03-21 22:01:15
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zahrah said:
/facepalm

Really? Just really? How is it hard to talk to another sex? Sorry to sound insensitive, but it's something you have to do every single day. When trying to build a romantic relationship, you speak to people you are interested in just the same as any other person you meet.

i went to an all guys highschool

never was able to on a daily basis during my 4 years of highschool

so now in college when i deal with it everyday i have trouble with it
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 Bahamut.Lolserj
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By Bahamut.Lolserj 2011-03-21 22:01:35
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Serj said:
zahrah said:
/facepalm

Really? Just really? How is it hard to talk to another sex? Sorry to sound insensitive, but it's something you have to do every single day. When trying to build a romantic relationship, you speak to people you are interested in just the same as any other person you meet.

It's really, really hard. As a really shy guy, I assure you, it is really difficult. Nothing is a harder struggle than struggling with yourself.

im shy and i have that ***to deal with in my post above
 Bahamut.Dasva
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By Bahamut.Dasva 2011-03-21 22:02:04
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Bahamut.Lolserj said:
Bahamut.Dasva said:
Ifrit.Bloodbathboy said:
Bahamut.Dasva said:
Bahamut.Lolserj said:
you women always twisting our words around
So true
They all do to a point. Some worse than others. I have a good memory and a lot of space on my phone. I keep calm and listen. But if it is BS there sprouting I am quick to point itcout and show them. They seem to listen.
Really? Somehow even with having proof I still lose.
i thought women were always right
No they just like to think so
 Leviathan.Niniann
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By Leviathan.Niniann 2011-03-21 22:03:25
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Phoenix.Uzugami said:
Does always being tossed into that "close-friend" spot when I really like the girl in question, but she always tends to date horrible types of guys count? :<

You probably come off too strongly as a sub. Girls don't like subs (not to be confused with girls don't like nice guys).
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 Phoenix.Uzugami
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By Phoenix.Uzugami 2011-03-21 22:03:26
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Serj said:
zahrah said:
/facepalm

Really? Just really? How is it hard to talk to another sex? Sorry to sound insensitive, but it's something you have to do every single day. When trying to build a romantic relationship, you speak to people you are interested in just the same as any other person you meet.

It's really, really hard. As a really shy guy, I assure you, it is really difficult. Nothing is a harder struggle than struggling with yourself.

Do you mean it's hard to talk to them in general? Or talk to that one person you really, really like?
 Caitsith.Linear
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By Caitsith.Linear 2011-03-21 22:03:28
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Serj said:
zahrah said:
/facepalm

Really? Just really? How is it hard to talk to another sex? Sorry to sound insensitive, but it's something you have to do every single day. When trying to build a romantic relationship, you speak to people you are interested in just the same as any other person you meet.

It's really, really hard. As a really shy guy, I assure you, it is really difficult. Nothing is a harder struggle than struggling with yourself.
This. So much.
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 Bahamut.Dasva
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By Bahamut.Dasva 2011-03-21 22:04:05
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zahrah said:
/facepalm

Really? Just really? How is it hard to talk to another sex? Sorry to sound insensitive, but it's something you have to do every single day. When trying to build a romantic relationship, you speak to people you are interested in just the same as any other person you meet.
Easy for you to say if that is a real life avatar. You can just sit there and let them come to you
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 Bahamut.Dasva
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By Bahamut.Dasva 2011-03-21 22:04:34
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Leviathan.Niniann said:
Phoenix.Uzugami said:
Does always being tossed into that "close-friend" spot when I really like the girl in question, but she always tends to date horrible types of guys count? :<
You probably come off too strongly as a sub. Girls don't like subs *not to be confused with girls don't like nice guys*.
Wait but I thought you did?
 Quetzalcoatl.Volkom
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By Quetzalcoatl.Volkom 2011-03-21 22:04:42
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Caitsith.Linear said:
Serj said:
zahrah said:
/facepalm

Really? Just really? How is it hard to talk to another sex? Sorry to sound insensitive, but it's something you have to do every single day. When trying to build a romantic relationship, you speak to people you are interested in just the same as any other person you meet.

It's really, really hard. As a really shy guy, I assure you, it is really difficult. Nothing is a harder struggle than struggling with yourself.
This. So much.
; - ; agreed
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 Phoenix.Dabackpack
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By Phoenix.Dabackpack 2011-03-21 22:05:14
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Bismarck.Josiahfk said:
Phoenix.Dabackpack said:
Bismarck.Josiahfk said:
Phoenix.Dabackpack said:
Well, I was in a kind of "love triangle" a while back, but I don't think there's a geometric shape that exists which could describe what it was exactly. But I handled it the wrong way (doing nothing and hoping it to pass) and I'm still regretting it, because one of my close friends involved still holds a grudge, I suspect. And now I'm afraid to do anything else with love for that same reason. All my experiences have ended badly (not for myself, but for others).
ouch, you did nothing and your friend was hurt from that? They wanted you to intervene? And yeah understandable eeep > <
That's the paraphrased version; the person I liked was her best friend (very unlucky for me!) and it was clear that my other friend liked me, and when people found out that I liked this girl, BOTH of them got really angry at me for not handling it better. Plus there's other people involved, nyeh. It's not fun, I'm on good terms with the girl I used to like, but the girl who liked me is still is angry at me (this happened several months ago). Guess girls can hold grudges. EDIT: It wasn't that I was trying to manipulate anybody, but I didn't want ANYBODY to know any of this. I figured that I was willing to sacrifice my happiness to maintain the friendships we all had. But sadly, jealousy is not rational, and when this girl suspected it, she was not happy.
Do you think the girl you like feels the same? you haven't mentioned what she desires at all unless you and her just weren't that close? And yeah grudge wise that would be understandable from her side of view. Inactivity can so easily be misconstrued as just not caring even if you did put effort in bleh > < Women don't handle subtle well compared to how well they deal it out I've found, unless you find an overthinker but that's even more problems at times -_-

Nah, she didn't feel the same way. We were (are) very close and she used to tell me about the boys she liked and everything. I put up with it and did my job as a friend, I think.
That's one of the reasons I decided not to do anything. I didn't want drama to happen, especially when I knew that nothing good would come of it for me.
But we did hang out together a lot, and my friend noticed and grew envious. Essentially, she reached the correct conclusion for the wrong reasons.

This whole thing has passed though, I guess I'm wondering how I should have handled it better.


Cerberus.Kiori said:
Love is fickle and jealousy is the bane of all relationships be it friends or love. Yes, women can hole grudges, but so do men. Either way I don't believe you handled it wrong per say...just others took it the wrong way. Did you know the one girl liked you before or after the jealously set in, and how did they find out about you liking the friend?

I knew that my friend liked me, but I knew her life was stressful and she was upset so I didn't think it was necessary to drop the bomb, at this time. There probably was the expectation of me telling her eventually, but for a guy it's hard to tell somebody something like that.

Meanwhile, I had confided me liking this girl in another friend of mine. This guy has classes with my other friend, and noticed that she was apparently really, really upset about the ordeal (I hadn't noticed it was this bad!) and he ultimately said, "Look, if you don't tell this girl you like her and end this pain with our friend, then I will tell BOTH of them."
So ended up telling both of the girls the story, and they got angry at me.

That's basically what happened.
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By Cerberus.Kiori 2011-03-21 22:05:16
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Phoenix.Dabackpack said:
Bismarck.Josiahfk said:
Phoenix.Dabackpack said:
Well, I was in a kind of "love triangle" a while back, but I don't think there's a geometric shape that exists which could describe what it was exactly. But I handled it the wrong way (doing nothing and hoping it to pass) and I'm still regretting it, because one of my close friends involved still holds a grudge, I suspect. And now I'm afraid to do anything else with love for that same reason. All my experiences have ended badly (not for myself, but for others).
ouch, you did nothing and your friend was hurt from that? They wanted you to intervene? And yeah understandable eeep > <

That's the paraphrased version; the person I liked was her best friend (very unlucky for me!) and it was clear that my other friend liked me, and when people found out that I liked this girl, BOTH of them got really angry at me for not handling it better.

Plus there's other people involved, nyeh. It's not fun, I'm on good terms with the girl I used to like, but the girl who liked me is still is angry at me (this happened several months ago). Guess girls can hold grudges.

EDIT: It wasn't that I was trying to manipulate anybody, but I didn't want ANYBODY to know any of this. I figured that I was willing to sacrifice my happiness to maintain the friendships we all had. But sadly, jealousy is not rational, and when this girl suspected it, she was not happy.
Love is fickle and jealousy is the bane of all relationships be it friends or love. Yes, women can hole grudges, but so do men. Either way I don't believe you handled it wrong per say...just others took it the wrong way.

Did you know the one girl liked you before or after the jealously set in, and how did they find out about you liking the friend?
 Phoenix.Uzugami
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By Phoenix.Uzugami 2011-03-21 22:06:34
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Leviathan.Niniann said:
Phoenix.Uzugami said:
Does always being tossed into that "close-friend" spot when I really like the girl in question, but she always tends to date horrible types of guys count? :<

You probably come off too strongly as a sub. Girls don't like subs (not to be confused with girls don't like nice guys).

What you mean as a sub? o.o
 Leviathan.Niniann
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By Leviathan.Niniann 2011-03-21 22:07:04
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Bahamut.Dasva said:
Leviathan.Niniann said:
Phoenix.Uzugami said:
Does always being tossed into that "close-friend" spot when I really like the girl in question, but she always tends to date horrible types of guys count? :<
You probably come off too strongly as a sub. Girls don't like subs *not to be confused with girls don't like nice guys*.
Wait but I thought you did?



mmmm, Publix's are the best.
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 Caitsith.Linear
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By Caitsith.Linear 2011-03-21 22:07:15
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Someone who doesn't stand up for themselves, for the most part.
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 Asura.Solara
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By Asura.Solara 2011-03-21 22:07:30
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Bahamut.Dasva said:

Easy for you to say if that is a real life avatar. You can just sit there and let them come to you

Pretty much true of every woman.

I don't personally have any relationship frustrations, just wanted to +1 Dasva's post.
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 Phoenix.Uzugami
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By Phoenix.Uzugami 2011-03-21 22:07:54
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Caitsith.Linear said:
Someone who doesn't stand up for themselves, for the most part.

Ah, nah that's def not me<.< I get in trouble a lot because I can't keep my mouth shut. lol

Edit: Although, Im shy when I don't know people a lot.. :< And I'll admit that I have trouble expressing myself to girls that I really like, I can do it with friends or whatever, but It's nearly impossible to do with girls I like. :<
 Bahamut.Lolserj
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By Bahamut.Lolserj 2011-03-21 22:09:32
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how do you know if a girl is interested in you?
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 Asura.Chuuuuu
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By Asura.Chuuuuu 2011-03-21 22:10:02
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Bahamut.Lolserj said:
how do you know if a girl is interested in you?
how do you know a guy is interested in you? :3
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By Bahamut.Lolserj 2011-03-21 22:10:47
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Asura.Chuuuuu said:
Bahamut.Lolserj said:
how do you know if a girl is interested in you?
how do you know a guy is interested in you? :3

i dont even know

this is how bad i am with relationships and people in general
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 Asura.Matzilla
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By Asura.Matzilla 2011-03-21 22:10:50
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Asura.Chuuuuu said:
Bahamut.Lolserj said:
how do you know if a girl is interested in you?
how do you know a guy is interested in you? :3

goes out of their way to talk to you, hang out with you, etc, doesnt help if youre oblivious.
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 Sylph.Tigerwoods
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By Sylph.Tigerwoods 2011-03-21 22:11:03
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So there's this girl I know. I'm not good with hints or anything so I've no clue if she likes me as more than a friend or just as a friend. I would say something but we've been friends for a while and I don't want to make things awkward. That being said, I went against my better judgment and it actually worked out. Three months later things are fine, but I go drinking and accidentally hook up w/ her friend, who said she would keep it secret, but you know how that goes. I didn't mean to, I should have never drank, and I don't know how to fix this.

And then...







I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I can say is that this cab was rare
But I thought 'Man forget it' - 'Yo home to Bel Air'
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 Asura.Allyson
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By Asura.Allyson 2011-03-21 22:11:09
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Let me sum this thread up for anyone who doesn't want to read through all this, but has to satisfy their curiosity anyway.

Girls are:
scary
mean
always into mean guys :(
insensitive
mean
really mean to me

Relationship problems are:
scary
never my fault
unable to be fixed (please hold me)
ok maybe my fault, but damn she was a ***

The truth is relationships, and girls, are not that complicated. Much like men, women are going to come in all kinds. If you don't like the ones you've met and think they are all ***, go meet more. If you don't like yourself, work on changing the parts you hate. If your relationship fails, try again. If she doesn't like you, find someone else. If you don't want a relationship, go and be merry. Nobel peace prize, please.
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 Asura.Chuuuuu
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By Asura.Chuuuuu 2011-03-21 22:11:24
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Asura.Matzilla said:
Asura.Chuuuuu said:
Bahamut.Lolserj said:
how do you know if a girl is interested in you?
how do you know a guy is interested in you? :3

goes out of their way to talk to you, hang out with you, etc, doesnt help if youre oblivious.
yeah but could just be a friendly person :P i always have trouble with that and say f it lol
 Leviathan.Niniann
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By Leviathan.Niniann 2011-03-21 22:11:27
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Submissive: inclined or ready to submit; unresistingly or humbly obedient: submissive servants.

Basically, if she can get you to do whatever she wants you're a sub. And yes, this includes listening to her talking about other guys.
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