FFXI And Dating!!!

How many of us have heard the stories of boy meets girl and fall in love and have an FFXI wedding pre their RL wedding? I personally know 3 couples now who have gone down that path.

We all know the gaming community gets a bad rap due to a few folks who become slaves to the game. And this leads to people keeping their FFXI lives a secret sometimes socially. When in all honesty, most of us live productive lives: going to school, working (sometimes 2-3 jobs), family, friends, etc.

So that being said, how do you all feel about the FFXI "dating" thing when game turns to RL? I would love to get some feed back.

Sincerely
Andy

In before the trolls. However, if they do not come, I'll come give an opinion.

Time to troll this thread off topic ::brandishes troll weaponry::

No, I'm just kidding, in all truthfulness, I'm in the middle-grounds on the whole eDating thing, on one hand, it's a way for people that sit behind a computer all of the hours of the day to get married/have kids fall in love etc, and on the other hand, Why the hell aren't you outside getting some sun like normal people?!

If you're happy in real life with them after making the transition out of game, who can criticize?

That being said, I can never shake the feeling that they could have done better if they hadn't gimped their initial selection pool down to the (relatively tiny) subset of the population that plays a certain game to begin with.

It's kind of like only looking for love at a Renaissance Fair. Yeah, you can be absolutely sure you guys have that one thing in common. But you've so limited your selection pool that you've potentially passed over a crapton of people that might have more in common with you overall.

Been sitting here for a few minutes writing ***, erasing it, and thinking more...

I dunno, I don't think it'd work for me, but if others can pull it off, all the power to them

Aye that's the thing. I will give and example: A young man from France plays ffxi so does a young woman from The states. They have active social lives outside of FFXI and professional jobs. But like many people I knwo log on for a few events a week for a couple hours. Long store short. He flies here, she flies there, they fall in love and get married IRL, and I have seen this happen 3 times with people I know lol. So its more ever a Question not pointed to addicts or people living fake lives. But to how eDating especially in MMO's have lead to this.

Just having something in common, then finding out that personally they have much in common, people fall in love, Do I need to teach the birds and bee's as well? Sorry to troll, but it's not really that complex why people fall for each other.

Like most relationships, it starts with a common ground. In this case the common ground is an MMO. I don't see anything wrong with it assuming neither one is hiding something significant through internet anonymity. (Man saying he's a woman, stuff like that.)

and for every 3 of those people that it works out for theres 300 men playing mithras trolling other gullible men

yah, I've seen that happen, it's all over the screenshot areas, people flaming about how Men shouldn't play Mithra's that it's "mis-leading" ... What about the real life females that play male characters? Oh, and since I'm derailing topic, I just want to say, I'd rather stare at a chick's arse, than a dudes arse in subligar... Just my 2 gil

Naw, its not rocket science! But its is interesting. And mind you many many relationship end, and marriages divorce, and there is a multi-million dolor business in help/book/etc to prevent this.

Fact is, I think its wonderful that the WWW + MMO's have created an opportunity for things like this. 20 years ago you where kinda stuck in your region, 40 years ago you where married to someone in your town. And now we are able to chat in a social setting with a common interest with people from all over the world.

you can even buy a wife online! http://www.goodwife.com/

What if the guy said he was a girl (for some odd reason) and the girl was pretending to be a dude because she didn't want to get hit on by real dudes... Should they marry anyway?

Well, I've seen a few FFXI -> RL couples, then again, I've seen one instance where Wife & Husband IRL with 1 son play together, Wife ends up leeching from MANY 75's (we were all 35-50 at the time) all of them men that she has an in-game relationship with. Husband quit for WoW about 4 1/2 - 5 years ago. About 3 years ago, their son was on, I was talking to him only to find out that 'Wife' and 'Husband' had split up, and 'Wife' was now living with one of the 'In-game BFs'. I considered the husband a good friend, and he, strangely, understood my dislike of his wife. This couple provided me with one of the best LSs I've ever had, and eventually, she destroyed it. But that's another story.

If you're single IRL, and you haven't met anyone who catches your interest and you can make it work, go for it.

Now, if you're married, and I've seen this alot, it probably won't work. Actually, no, it won't work.

Met my girlfriend on ffxi, and we've been living together for almost two years now :). Transfered from Midgardsormr to Fenrir because some irl friends played on Fenrir, and I'm glad I switched or I wouldn't have met the most amazing person ever ^^.

That said, it doesn't work for everyone. I wasn't trying to find someone in this game, but the pieces just fell together correctly xD.

It's no different than Facebook or Myspace, perhaps even better because you have a bit more to judge than just some blocks of text. (Behavior for example)

Its cool if the said couple lives in the same Town i'll even say the same state... after that it gets weird imo...really just need to take your *** outside and meet a real person and live in reality whats wrong with getting your rl gf into the game....so atleast your relationship is not based on playing ffxi lmao. I just think its lame imo again i'm sure all the nerds will try to flame at me lmao. I don't do long distance relationships anyway and could never really understand them..most of them fail because its so easy to cheat..and the ones that do survive just accept the cheating lmao..any way my 2 cents...

I fully agree FFXI is a greater way to know a person 1) You get to know them and how they behave in a social structure. How do they do in team work and following instructions, many things that show personality traits. 2) because you obviously have a common interest.

Depends. Couples are usually the most annoying people I come across ingame.

Obnoxious, oblivious, self-absorbed and mostly inseperable to the point of being a nuisance.

Key word here is, usually. I've met some couples that were hilarious. And I've met some couples where one of them was amazing and the other a complete douchebag.


I have no quarrel with them, except if they want to be ridiculously "lovey-dovey" while they are sitting behind their monitors next to eachother irl, they can be so far away from me.

Do want

That can not be real? Its a joke sight or a scam. or is that for real? lol, i thought it was posted as a joke till I hit the link!

I'm actually friends with a couple who met in FFXI and got together in RL and now a few years later they are getting married. Then quit the game after they met IRL haha

I didn't click but there have been mail order brides forever so I don't see why not. I even knew a guy that everyone was sure got his wife that way. And another guy I worked randomly took a vacation in the phillipines and came back with a fiancee that no one knew about... so probably

I met my gf on xi. She lives in the states and me the uk. Even we initially didn't think it would work though, but hey, we've been going out almost 2 years now, i've visited her twice, most recently which was 2 months over xmas.

And to make this more funny, I have a female character ingame, but I don't act like a chick to get free stuff.

You all talk as if people that have a relationship ingame just involves talking ingame though. We barely ever talk ingame now, we always sit talking for hours and hours on Skype and stuff.

I can fully
I can fully agree, I once knew a girl, who me and my friend got interested in FFXI. she is a nice girl don't get me wrong. Anyhow she used her famine ways to well do what ladies have the charm to do, starts dating Shell leader, Shell breaks up the make new shell named after themselves, lol. And the tyranny begins!

Nothing at all wrong with it. but you have to be careful sometimes how people try make them come across in game doesn't me thats there true self in rl.

Like any form of internet date you have to be very careful & coatious.

But if you can make it work then fair play & good on ya.

I can see both sides of this. For one, my husband and I are married irl, had been married before we ever started playing FFXI. I think people who don't know that assume we are an e-couple. We're not. FF just happens to be something that we do together. I've had friends in-game who had e-relationships, though, and they almost always ended badly. I don't mind if my pals do that, as long as they understand that the person they are 'with' might be the sweetest, most loving person alive or they might be a lying axe murderer. If you trust that person, then best wishes and have fun!

There is one problem I have with it, though. I don't want to see you /kiss, /cuddle, /huggle, or any other mushy-gushy gross PDA. I used to do dynamis with a couple that was married irl, and I constantly wanted to /vomit on them because we could not get through a single dyna without their TMI nasty flirting.

There is one problem I have with it, though. I don't want to see you /kiss, /cuddle, /huggle, or any other mushy-gushy gross PDA. I used to do dynamis with a couple that was married irl, and I constantly wanted to /vomit on them because we could not get through a single dyna without their TMI nasty flirting. [/quote]

Fully agree, its just as bad as people making out in public, I think hand holding and maybe a suitable kiss on the check is ok. But lets not get carried away O.o

Fully agree, its just as bad as people making out in public, I think hand holding and maybe a suitable kiss on the check is ok. But lets not get carried away O.o [/quote]
^ This. Especially when you are sure it's all meaningless and just attempts to get attention or ig stuff and days, weeks, months later will end horribly

The couples that tend to indulge in egregious PDA in real life tend to be younger folks for whom being in a relationship is still excitingly novel, and they want to show that off.

I imagine it's much the same in FFXI.