FFXIAH Linkshell Ni

They were just starting to medically tinker with children's brains when I went to school... ritalin
/Chuck D~ I don't rhyme for the sake of ritalin!...

But the standard operating procedure for the lucky few of us who weren't reduced to raging drool monkeys was to beat the children with progressively larger objects until they straightened out... or the teacher got tired.

You're a special snowflake...so why can't you act like all the other children!?

Yeah everyone is special, everyone is different, everyone is unique in his or her own way... though not necessarily more or better unique... unless you play sports, then yes sports are good unique and being a daydreaming doodler is bad unique.

SO they had a meeting and they all agreed that each child was unique and special and different... and they all learned at his or her own rate and in his or her own way so obviously we should round them up and put them all together and beat them with sticks until they form a homogeneous lump.

because obviously they weren't going to be getting the special individualized instruction they used to receive from their parents any more because their parents are stupid and they don't know to teach kids about the water cycle and then tell them to shut off the faucets at home while they brush their teeth or they will destroy the planet by WASTING ALL THE WATER

it didn't make any sense to me so at some point I decided to leave the water running and laugh maniacally.

Something is wrong with me I should be able to shut off my uniqueness upon entering a classroom and be exactly like everyone else but I either can't or refused to... why not both

So the teachers would beat me until they got tired and send me to the principal who would beat me until they got tired and then they would call my mom in and she would take me home and beat me with wooden spoons until she got tired and then my dad would be upset that I caused all the trouble and beat me with a belt until he got tired.

For some inexplicable reason all the beatings and berating and the scolding the put downs and the embarrassing me in front of the other children didn't turn me into one of them

Clearly I was defective. Like Magnuss' students I wasn't interested in the things they decided I should be interested in so obviously I was insane or wrong or evil because ALL OF THE OTHER SPECIAL SNOWFLAKES all flutter excitedly and on cue whenever we study sentence structure.

And sure I would bait them by writing perfectly constructed sentences about their dog that had just died...but let's face it, they were going to find an excuse sooner or later to beat me because deep down they really enjoyed it.

I never learned to enjoy it or why sentence diagramming was important... but I did learn to master my own style of iron *** kung fu to break all the wooden spoons and rulers and yardsticks and switches and branches and the occasional baseball bat when everything smaller didn't work.

Like all king fu styles Iron *** takes years of dedication and practice. precision timing, lightning fast reflexes and *** positioning are some of the keys

and you have to focus because the whole time they are yelling at you and telling you what a horrible person you are so you have to concentrate past that and focus on their rhythm of their swings

You ever play perfection? it's the game where you try to cram different shaped pieces into their respective holes



Teaching, by definition, is trying to shove all forty of the different shaped pieces into one hole chosen at random as the CORRECT HOLE EVERYONE SHOULD FIT INTO and then pondering in vain why none of the children are able to conform to that shape. And I can see them now trying to pound them into the hole that obviously doesn't fit until time runs out or they get tired and give up.

Maybe Magnuss' kids won't learn why Shakespeare is important but maybe they are funneling all his passive aggressive disdain and ridicule and disappointment and exhaustion for them into their own special snowflake style of kung fu

Sure we don't beat children with wooden objects any more and Iron *** Kung Fu never really caught on as a recognized style... in fact this ancient scroll you read here is all that is left of one brave masters journey to *** enlightenment.

Right because we still beat the children...BUTT now we do it with ridicule and scorn and mockery and insults. We belittle them in front of their peers and find clever ways to call them stupid for not thinking the same way we do.... mouth breathing neck beard climate change denier tin foil hat wearing paranoid delusional psychotics...because I laugh and leave the water running because I know you can't waste it because you taught me that it eventually evaporates.

Perhaps it's not as physically enjoyable as beating, but it's a lot less tiring.

So I will leave this here for future generations.. in a temple I made in the shape of a stiffened *** with a enormous broken wood beam forming the room of course you have to enter through the *** but nobody ever said Iron *** Kung Fu mastery was going to be pleasant

first you have to clear your mind... your sight is useless because your enemy is behind you. close your eyes and feel the wind in their swing