FFXIAH Linkshell Ni

Not my video, just want to show you the boss

I was unavoidably detained by work and reality. If I can get the time machine fired up we can go bet against chumps at the craps table, run my blackjack system, get hammered, make 21st century *** out of ourselves and then go eat breakfast at the buffet inside Paris.

If Bobby Flay is in town we gotta go to his restaurant, *** his food over and send it back until he comes out of the kitchen and then kick his ***... Let's just say it's on my "To Do" list... Never mind the why, it will be good for him.

Let's see...if you run out of smokes go to the knights casino (PARKER EDIT Camelot) the smoke is so thick in there (or was)you can barely see the tables and they have/had $5 blackjack.

If you are a man of considerable means The ritz carlton has beds made out of angel hugs, it's a bit of a drive but I liked getting away from the city and going to see the red rock canyon and the hover dam and lake mead and the grand canyon and all that nonsense. it turned out to be a good launching off point.

Let's see ceaser's palace wins for the cool slot machines and fast service.

ah crap, more later I gotta get back to work

DON'T FORGET TO TIP YOUR WAITRESS!!!!

and it's probably an old man thing but I like these calm little moments before the storm [In accordance with the new UCS1: Urial Citation Standards, Version 1, it must be noted this line was lifted and plagiarized from the movie Leon: The Professional] We Now Return You to Your Regularly Scheduled Programming, Already in Progress [UCS1: they used to say this on television in the old days when a football game ended "late" not only did have to watch the agonizing boredom of the team that was ahead on points "running down the clock" would miss also half the show you wanted to watch that was after said game.]

on the one hand I feel bad for extreme close up girl had her episode or whatever and her mom is evil but I am old man... I just don't have any business talking to a teenage kid like that directly, at some point it crosses the line into creepy and weird and wrong.

One time I took my son camping for scouts and the dads are all sitting around the fire after the kids go to sleep and one of them starts talking about "hey, did you check out the cans on that bimbo" kind of talk and then it slowly dawned on me who they were talking about it was one of the counselors. And I'm all "are you serious? that kid is maybe sixteen" and they are all like So?

And so obviously there is something very wrong with me that I can no longer objectify teenage girls and I can't remember when it happened but all the sudden they started looking like little kids with too much makeup on, trying to grow up too fast.

It could be due to my niece who one day decided to dress like a prostitute and here is this little baby I used to change her diapers and hold this certain way in my arms she liked who all the sudden looks like she is working... And I understood she wanted to attract boys her own age and I tried to tell her as gently as possible that there are a lot of very bad ugly old weird people in the world, like the other dads at scout camp, and through no fault of her own her outfit was likely to also accidentally attract many of them...

her mom of course claimed there was nothing she could do about the situation except put a gps track on her phone my niece didn't know about... super, we'll be able to locate her body without cadaver dogs if they don't steal her phone.

Eventually she learned the hard way that dressing in that style garnered her the unwanted attention I was trying to warn her about. And I learned not to bother warning kids too much because they aren't going to listen anyways and I wind up sounding like the old wind bag I am.

So we reached and understanding of sorts, they don't want to listen and I am tired of telling them things they don't want to hear and

HOLY ***MY CLOCK DIDN'T UPDATE ON MY LAPTOP AT WORK!!!

/pulls the tail on that bird from the flintstones

[UCS1: stolen without permission from Flinstones LLC a division of the Halliburton Corporation]

So into our parking lot this morning rolls a brand new car with a city emblem on the side and in traditional city employee fashion they don't park in a parking space. No, instead they pull right up to the front door and just park there. I'm thinking it's probably the assistant junior fire inspector who comes by ten or fifteen times a year to make sure my fire extinguisher is up to date...

But instead a rather well dressed man appears and tapes something on our front window and starts taking pictures of it. So naturally, I go out to greet him. And he hands me the three page order to remove graffiti from the back of our building. It looks pretty official, it's from the Department of Graffiti and signed by the Director of Graffiti and it indicates we have thirty days to remove the graffiti from our building or face six months in jail and substantial fine.

So I ask him "what happens if I paint over the graffiti today and like always the kids come back on the weekend and put it right back up again?" Do you have a picture of the current graffiti on file so that they can distinguish new graffiti from old graffiti?

Perhaps I should wait until the 29th day of the order to paint over the graffiti, document it by taking pictures and then have an armed guard to patrol the perimeter for twenty four hours until the deadline passes?

It turns out all I have to do is paint over the current graffiti, notify the department of grafitti that the work has been completed and they will send someone out to verify our compliance with the order and then, when the kids come back on the weekend and tag over the whole process will start over again with a new thirty day order, so long as they get out here in time before the kids get back.... Maybe I should paint it on a Monday and that will give them time to respond....

So once that is settled, I start asking the guy how I can be the director of graffiti. "you don't want that job" he says. The hell I don't! I exclaim. How do I get that job? I really want to know because if the director of graffiti's underlings get a brand new car to tool around in and are paid well enough to afford the clothes this guy was wearing then OBVIOUSLY I AM IN THE WRONG BUSINESS.

Even my boss said to me as the guy is walking back to his car. "Look at his shoes!" and I must admit I was impressed by the man's footwear, very nice shoes indeed and we both looked down at our own shoes and our aging clothes and cars.

And I couldn't help but wonder... in these trying economic times how in the hell our fair city, instead of arresting the people for putting up the graffiti came up with the genious idea to assemble a crack team of graffiti experts, an entire department with a director and everything to serve building owners notices to remove the graffiti or face jail time and fines.

How perfect is that plan? We can't get the kids stop putting up graffiti, Officer Widebody couldn't even dream of catching them without suffering two or three heart attacks. But the building owners! They can't run away!!! They have a physical address! it's fool proof!!

And of course we can't have the mayor running around handing out these orders we need to create an entire new department, under an existing department but with it's own director to oversee this masterfull plan.

Let's face it, nobody wants to keep looking at the same old graffiti day after day after day. We need new graffiti and hopefully/possibly it's better and more artistically interesting than that drab old graffiti. And now I know just who to call to get the job done.

Dear God: Who's meat pipe do I have to smoke to get to be the director of the department of graffiti? Look it's time i cast aside vanity anyways and start thinking about the future... I can grovel, I can spit shine shoes, I can join whatever political party or movement nessesary to obtain this title. I'm certainly not above killing the current director of the department of graffiti to assume his throne. Please God, grant me the wisdom and the evil power I need to become the director of the department of graffiti. I know I just learned of the existance of such a thing today But I have a dream, that one day I will be the new director for the department of graffiti and be granted the power and privilege of that office. Please help me in any way you can. Amen.

I'm not calling for an end to the corruption and graft, far from it... only a fool would be offended by such things. I just want to get IN on it or at the very least not have my nose vigorously rubbed in it on a weekly basis. Is it really too much to ask not to be hassled by public servants that make more money than me?

I pay all the taxes I can't find loopholes to get out of paying. I vote occasionaly. I can't wait to get called in for jury duty...

But something has changed and I need to find whoever it is that is rattling these guys' cages and get them to stop... Someone is urging these city workers to "look busy"... My evil senses are tingling. I suspect it's republicans.

Personally, I liked it better when they played angry birds and farmville all day. Who knows how long this sleeping giant of a department of graffiti has laid dormant and idle quietly siphoning off resources without any accountabiility.

we used to go to chicago every other year to McCormick place for the IMTS show and display our evil wares... back when people went places and did things rather than sit around watching webinars and their *** grow. My brother lives there so I always make him drag me around to his favorite places. He knows about my weird requirements for deep dish pizza without too buttery/biscuity a crust and I couldn't name the place he takes me if you put a gun to my head, but it's really quite excellent. I like the Marriot downtown right there on michigan and we venture out from there to the shedd or wherever. I don't think there is anything inside Chicago proper I haven't seen yet. It's gotten to the point my wife would rather "do something else" rather than go to chicago again. We even went to michigan once. of all places.... no offense scuba steve but if I can ever manage to turn michigan into an enormous lake of fire I will do so without the slightest hesitation.