Teacher Turns The Tables On School "bully"..
Teacher turns the tables on school "bully"..
Bullies target people that are affraid.. the moment that a person stands up to them that whole situation changes.. that begins with parenting. Its no different than being in jail or in the wild... the weak are always targets period.
Leviathan.Syagin said: »
Bullies target people that are affraid.. the moment that a person stands up to them that whole situation changes.. that begins with parenting. Its no different than being in jail or in the wild... the weak are always targets period.
This is a very black and white opinion that you've not thought through the potential implications of what you're saying.
It has kernels of truth, but the fact of the matter is, standing up to bullies does not always fix the situation and, in some instances, actually exacerbates them.
I agree it begins at home, on both sides of the issue, but while there is some truth in that some people make themselves easy targets for bullies, to put the onus entirely on the target is excusing the behavior of the aggressing party.
That's the same kind of thinking that blames rape victims for being raped.
While some people put themselves into dangerous positions -- and this is behavior that should be changed, to be sure, for their own safety -- it still takes someone with a deviate mindset to act upon that exposed target.
Edit: I want to agree with you. I really do. I want their to be a simple solution.
- "Punch the guy in the nose."
- "Tell him to f*** off and go back to his white trash mom for more validation that she clearly hasn't provided."
- "Just walk away and ingore them."
- "Stand up for yourself, wimp!"
But having lived through it, and used all of those responses and more, the fact of the matter is, it's not always going to work. Life is never that simple.
Leviathan.Syagin said: »
Bullies target people that are affraid.. the moment that a person stands up to them that whole situation changes.. that begins with parenting. Its no different than being in jail or in the wild... the weak are always targets period.
Bismarck.Ramyrez said: »
Leviathan.Syagin said: »
Bullies target people that are affraid.. the moment that a person stands up to them that whole situation changes.. that begins with parenting. Its no different than being in jail or in the wild... the weak are always targets period.
Leviathan.Syagin said: »
Bullies target people that are affraid.. the moment that a person stands up to them that whole situation changes.. that begins with parenting. Its no different than being in jail or in the wild... the weak are always targets period.
Yeah I had a broken wrist because the guy I stood up to, who was a wrestler, stepped down when I stood up to him. Nothing about your post shows you're not attempting to paint a colorblind picture of the subject at hand. All bullies do not back down when confronted. Why would mine? I was a cross country runner and he was a wrestler. I obviously couldn't hurt him and he knew it.
This "raising weak children" narrative is completely ignorant to the fact that some bullies pick their targets because they are physically weaker than them. No amount of parenting is going to fix the genetics of some situations. The only thing that begins with parenting is teaching your children that needless aggression is a bad trait to have.
Kind of figured that's what you meant.
You need to do your best to prepare your children for what's out there. Like I said. There is something to be said for making yourself an easy target. You've got to teach your kids to avoid that as much as possible without stiffling who they are.
But there also needs to be a better system in place for deterring those out there committing these malicious acts.
You need to do your best to prepare your children for what's out there. Like I said. There is something to be said for making yourself an easy target. You've got to teach your kids to avoid that as much as possible without stiffling who they are.
But there also needs to be a better system in place for deterring those out there committing these malicious acts.
Lakshmi.Flavin said: »
Leviathan.Syagin said: »
Bullies target people that are affraid.. the moment that a person stands up to them that whole situation changes.. that begins with parenting. Its no different than being in jail or in the wild... the weak are always targets period.
Leviathan.Syagin said: »
Lakshmi.Flavin said: »
Leviathan.Syagin said: »
Bullies target people that are affraid.. the moment that a person stands up to them that whole situation changes.. that begins with parenting. Its no different than being in jail or in the wild... the weak are always targets period.
trucido said: »
Leviathan.Syagin said: »
Bullies target people that are affraid.. the moment that a person stands up to them that whole situation changes.. that begins with parenting. Its no different than being in jail or in the wild... the weak are always targets period.
Bismarck.Ramyrez said: »
Kind of figured that's what you meant. You need to do your best to prepare your children for what's out there. Like I said. There is something to be said for making yourself an easy target. You've got to teach your kids to avoid that as much as possible without stiffling who they are. But there also needs to be a better system in place for deterring those out there committing these malicious acts.
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from your reply it is not hard to tell you may have issues defending yourself because personally I am 150 lbs soaking wet and I have NEVER been bullied abut I know some and i know what they target.
Some people are easier targets than others because of their very nature. They may be small, physically or mentally handicapped or not as mature as those around them, or simply just the kind of kid that sticks out as a bit peculiar.
That's ok. Everyone being the same is not something I really think of as an ideal society.
But sometimes people select these people out of the herd to be the targets of their scorn, for whatever reason.
It is not the target's fault, in these instances, that others cannot be accepting of something different from themselves.
What you are proposing is a very socially Darwinistic approach to life.
And while Darwinism works on a scientific level, social Darwinism has been shown many times over to be a total load of hogwash.
You say you've never been bullied. That's an enviable position to be in. But don't think you're above the potential for having had been bullied given the right set of circumstances.
There's always someone bigger, stronger, in a better social position or with the ability to otherwise exert the influence with impunity.
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Bismarck.Ramyrez said: »
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from your reply it is not hard to tell you may have issues defending yourself because personally I am 150 lbs soaking wet and I have NEVER been bullied abut I know some and i know what they target.
I love the "if you didn't let it happen, then it wouldn't happen" mentality I'm seeing in here now.. You might as well be justifying the bullying, that's just how ridiculous that mentality is to me.
I was bullied, I did everything everyone ever said one after another and I was still being bullied.. I've fought and won, I've fought and lost, I've had people larger than the bully stand up to the bully on my behalf and give them a taste of their own damn medicine, threefold, I've told adults, I've talked to them to figure out what their problem is with me, I've ignored them.. Etc etc..
I didn't 'just let it happen', it happened anyways.
I only spent a couple of months in high school (and that was me deciding to go back to school after I was 18).. By 6th or 7th grade I was removed from school and put on homeschooling because the ***just wasn't stopping.
I was bullied, I did everything everyone ever said one after another and I was still being bullied.. I've fought and won, I've fought and lost, I've had people larger than the bully stand up to the bully on my behalf and give them a taste of their own damn medicine, threefold, I've told adults, I've talked to them to figure out what their problem is with me, I've ignored them.. Etc etc..
I didn't 'just let it happen', it happened anyways.
I only spent a couple of months in high school (and that was me deciding to go back to school after I was 18).. By 6th or 7th grade I was removed from school and put on homeschooling because the ***just wasn't stopping.
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it really jsut comes down to courage
Without starting an entirely seperate discussion by defining "courage", let's go ahead and say we're on the same page.
If things were black and white, you may be right.
But they're not, therefore, neither are you.
Let's assume a situation. Someone is getting bullied by some jerk kid of a prominent family in town. The bully is on the football team. Atheletic. Does well in school, is liked by his teachers and peers as such.
He's also an incredible *** and decides to bully someone who physically may be his equal and could "stand up to him" physically.
Let's say the victim of his bullying does give him a solid thumping.
What happens then?
Legal charges. Social stigma. Expulsion from school. A black mark on his record his entire life.
That's courage?
No.
You are right saying people like that are never going to go away; sadly, it is the situation we have in society.
But while beating them up may very well stop the bullying, it would just be the beginning of your problems in today's litigious society.
Leviathan.Syagin said: »
because the objective is not to make your bully back down... it's to prevent the bullying from continuing... from your reply it is not hard to tell you may have issues defending yourself because personally I am 150 lbs soaking wet and I have NEVER been bullied abut I know some and i know what they target.
The problem with this argument is that every bully wont back down and this becomes worse when the bully becomes encamped with friends who want to dial things up to 11 when you defend yourself. Their egos are on the line which means the likelihood for things to get more violent increases in addition to bully problem. You may decide to stand up for yourself, win a minor scuffle and then you wind up getting jumped by 4-5 people who beat the piss out of you.
What then? Gonna take on 4-5 people by yourself? It's even worse when people decide to stop using fists and resort to weapons. I've seen adults in middle school back down and let people get pummeled simply because a physical object was in play and ***, I've seen people go after the very school safety tasked with stopping fights.
In a situation where the bully is emotionally compromised a simple fire vs. fire situation will work as the bully will likely either stop being a *** or move on to greener pastures but this entire framework relies on the type of bully that is just lashing out on others for attention and isn't really at core a violent person. Unfortunately, there are plenty of bullies who don't give a ***about who they bully or any authority figures for that matter and the only thing that is going to reach them is serious physical injury.
It just isn't so cut 'n dry.
Valefor.Slipispsycho said: »
I love the "if you didn't let it happen, then it wouldn't happen" mentality I'm seeing in here now.. You might as well be justifying the bullying, that's just how ridiculous that mentality is to me. I was bullied, I did everything everyone ever said one after another and I was still being bullied.. I've fought and won, I've fought and lost, I've had people larger than the bully stand up to the bully on my behalf and give them a taste of their own damn medicine, threefold, I've told adults, I've talked to them to figure out what their problem is with me, I've ignored them.. Etc etc.. I didn't 'just let it happen', it happened anyways.
I believe the internet terminology here is "QFT".
Bullies are different in every individual instance. A good *** kicking may very well work on some of them. In my own case, it did on one. And on another we got in a fight, he kicked my ***, but still backed off because (I suspect) he figured it wasn't worth what he still had to go through. (I actually became friends with this one later on in life, because he grew up quite a bit). And then there we people who were lingering pains in my *** until they finally grew the f*** up.
You learn to deal with things on a case-by-case basis. If you're well-adjusted and lucky.
If you're unlucky, or already emotionally compromised...that's when you start seeing these tragic cases of people snapping and losing their minds on Dateline.
Lakshmi.Sparthosx said: »
Leviathan.Syagin said: »
because the objective is not to make your bully back down... it's to prevent the bullying from continuing... from your reply it is not hard to tell you may have issues defending yourself because personally I am 150 lbs soaking wet and I have NEVER been bullied abut I know some and i know what they target.
You aren't going to get very far on even the one guy if you've got 11 on you...
Lakshmi.Flavin said: »
You aren't going to get very far on even the one guy if you've got 11 on you...
Leviathan.Syagin said: »
ok seeming as this discussion has now strayed from children being bullied to "peoples" own personal situations.. to answer your questions bout the number of people... it goes back to the old cliche and applies to the current convo... "cut off the head and the body will die" If i personally am up against 11 ppl that looking to beat me down... im not going to be looking at the numbers.. im looking at who im going to try to hurt the worst... at that point as the problem escalate I will reach for my belt buckle and proceed with the current situation. that answer your question?
Satisfying your own personal criteria for victory doesn't change the fact that you're going to get your *** beat and how beat that is depends on your physical condition and you haven't solved the bullying problem if the kids don't back down.
(This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with if they want to back down.)
You potentially have also made the situation worse if your bullies decide to continue harassing you. Everyone isn't cut out for fighting and the prospect of weekly fights doesn't work for many. Temperments apply here.
Again, it isn't as cut and dry as simply making a stand.
You can win over the minds of some bullies by displaying this type of behavior but you can easily just enrage the person/group and make things far worse for yourself.
Leviathan.Syagin said: »
Lakshmi.Flavin said: »
You aren't going to get very far on even the one guy if you've got 11 on you...
Lakshmi.Sparthosx said: »
Leviathan.Syagin said: »
ok seeming as this discussion has now strayed from children being bullied to "peoples" own personal situations.. to answer your questions bout the number of people... it goes back to the old cliche and applies to the current convo... "cut off the head and the body will die" If i personally am up against 11 ppl that looking to beat me down... im not going to be looking at the numbers.. im looking at who im going to try to hurt the worst... at that point as the problem escalate I will reach for my belt buckle and proceed with the current situation. that answer your question?
I don't think he meant that it was a satisfying experience lol... more like you set criteria and to do such would fulfill that criteria...
Leviathan.Syagin said: »
how exactly is being backed into a corner w/ 11 peole ready to beat you down "saticfying?" what im saying to you is I am not going to ball up on the floor and attempt to do nothing.
And as I said before if the goal is to stop the bullying your stand against one person or a mass of people doesn't mean squat if the bully doesn't want to back down.
You could wipe the floor with a guy and still wind up being bullied by the same *** because they want to bully you. Unless you're prepared to be a nonstop fountain of violence, the only way bullying stops is when the bully decides they've had enough or a 3rd party comes in.
You're (Syagin) being really stereotypical male ego about this.
Going down swinging is still going down.
It's a situation that shouldn't exist in the first place and we're talking about potential methods -- be they by teachers, parents, whatever -- to help deter this type of behavior. A moral victory doesn't do much if you're in traction.
Sticking up for yourself is important, I agree. But acting like it's going to solve the problem automatically -- even sticking up for yourself with fists and assuming you actually do inflict any sort of damage upon your opponent -- can only get you so far in some cases, and can often exacerbate the negative aspects of your situation.
Going down swinging is still going down.
It's a situation that shouldn't exist in the first place and we're talking about potential methods -- be they by teachers, parents, whatever -- to help deter this type of behavior. A moral victory doesn't do much if you're in traction.
Sticking up for yourself is important, I agree. But acting like it's going to solve the problem automatically -- even sticking up for yourself with fists and assuming you actually do inflict any sort of damage upon your opponent -- can only get you so far in some cases, and can often exacerbate the negative aspects of your situation.
Lakshmi.Sparthosx said: »
Leviathan.Syagin said: »
how exactly is being backed into a corner w/ 11 peole ready to beat you down "saticfying?" what im saying to you is I am not going to ball up on the floor and attempt to do nothing.
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I don't know about you dude but I personally have never met a person that has recv'd beat down after beat down and has come back to bully that same person because from prior exp. anyone has tried it w/ me or anyone i know has tucked their tail and went about their bisuness.. So stop creating this being in your mind and think realisticlly
You are applying your own personal experience as a universal standard.
That's not even sound policy in a controlled environment like FFXI.
Forget trying to apply it in the real world.
I'm pretty sure that most of us here are not creating anything in our minds and speaking from experience.
Edit: In fact, I'm really starting to get the impression that you're the type of person more inclined to be the bully. You're - in many cases thusfar - providing thinly-veiled support for bullies whose targets don't "step up and beat the ***out of" their tormentor.
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Not to mention that bullying isn't always physical...
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So the question would be.. Has anyone replying currently even been bullied? If so what have you does to stop it? because im using real life true stories. and if you would like a full picture i'd be happy to provide one.
There is no universal answer... There isn't just one thing you could do to stop it for every situation... let's say it was standing up and beating the hell out of the bully and that's the only way you could get it to stop... Not everyone would be capable of acheiving that feat... so it's not really even a solution...
Personally I saw one guy go crazy and attack one of the tougher guys at school... they never really bothered him because they thought he was crazy but that's not to say he would have been in the first place... I've seen others publicly humiliate which ends up one of two different ways... the bully comes and beats the living ***out of them or they crawl away with their tail between their legs...
Some don't even get a chance to stand up against em because its not a physical confrentation... they just make fun of them relentlessly and get others to do it as well... also, in these situations if you're the first aggressor you might further alienate yourself...
Personally I saw one guy go crazy and attack one of the tougher guys at school... they never really bothered him because they thought he was crazy but that's not to say he would have been in the first place... I've seen others publicly humiliate which ends up one of two different ways... the bully comes and beats the living ***out of them or they crawl away with their tail between their legs...
Some don't even get a chance to stand up against em because its not a physical confrentation... they just make fun of them relentlessly and get others to do it as well... also, in these situations if you're the first aggressor you might further alienate yourself...
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