I mean, don't get me wrong, she's the sweetest and most generous person I know (she bought us a new 32" TV when she moved in as an "apartment warming gift") but the moment you bring up something about her that could be worked on, not even in bringing it up in a mean way, she gets really defensive and turns it around on you. Like nothing could ever be wrong with her.
In her mind she probably has her own logic and her own concerns, gotta pick your battles; for example the dishes matter as it's a sanitary issue, if you get annoyed with her because she puts a new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser and the direction isn't to your liking, it really doesn't matter. Best to just let it go. Basically if you nag a sensitive person too much, over any little thing, they'll just think you're an ***, also knowing how to approach the issue rather than just letting anger fly is 90% of the battle. That varies from person to person.