GM Dave - The Prequel

This deserves to be up here as well as read in addition to the original thread. The two blogposts are linked and need to be read together. And once again, the entire post can be read in it's entirety for the convenience of our fellows who are trapped in cubicles and unable to access the original source.

Bon apetit!

[PLEASE NOTE: Original Copyright and Authorship is property of the one and only GM DAVE. Any bold or Italics were by me.]

So...

Not much going on in the world today.

No, sir. Not much at all.

Really nothing to talk about.

There's honestly nothing going on in the gaming world. Especially when it comes to FFXI.

Nope.

Nothing.

...

Okay... You may have noticed a wee little story about us banning almost a thousand players.

More of a blurb really.

Here's the official story:

In November 2008, we discovered an issue that allowed players to create multiple items for certain treasures and rewards in areas such as Salvage and Assault by exploiting the game system.

The issue was fixed during emergency maintenance on November 26, 2008. However, we discovered that some players had already exploited the issue and used it to gain additional items before it was addressed. We then investigated more than a year's worth of logs throughout all areas.

As a result of the investigation, approximately 400 players were temporarily suspended based on the evidence gathered. Approximately 550 players who committed more serious misconduct had their accounts banned.

We are working hard to ensure that these kinds of issues do not occur again in FINAL FANTASY XI. However, if you discover any problems with the game system, please submit a GM call or fill out the feedback e-mail form to report the problems to us, instead of exploiting or spreading the issue.

We thank you for your cooperation in this matter.

Here's the short version:

People cheated.

We banned them.

Yeah.

Pretty cut and dry, right? I mean, cheaters get banned.

That's how that ***is supposed to work.

Basically, a bunch of players discovered a bug where they could force the system to create duplicate drops in certain events.

This was, of course, completely against the rules.

Duh.

So, yesterday, a whole bunch of people went to log in and got a nice little message labeled LM-17.

Something about a door and not letting it hit you in the *** on your way out.

I'm not sure who suggested the LM-17 message.

I suggested we fly to each player's house, kick them in the groin, and set their computer on fire.

Apparently, that just wasn't "cost effective".

Remember when it used to be about the customers?

And the groin kicking?

That was a better time.

No, I get to work and my supervisor comes in.

Supervisor>> People...
Supervisor>> We're banning almost 1,000 accounts today.

A ripple of cheers went though the crowd.

[GM]Someguy>> Why are we banning them?

He's new.

The new guys always need a reason to ban people.

Rookies.

Supervisor>> ...
Supervisor>> The duping exploit.

The cheers broke off suddenly. A grim silence covered the room.

Every head turned to look at Craig.

In November, Craig had been put in charge of reviewing logs for evidence of duping.

Thousands of logs.

Thousands upon thousands of logs.

As the weeks had dragged on, he'd started to fall apart.

Every day. Reading log after log.

The grammar.

Dear God, the grammar.

Sometimes, when the GM floor was quiet, you could hear him talking to himself.

And weeping.

But, as we all turned to look at him, we noticed something different.

He was smiling.

He looked like the old Craig again, like everything was back to normal.

Well... He wasn't wearing pants.

Healing takes time.

Hands flew to keyboards as we all logged into our accounts.

A thousand characters were about to be so much digital ruin.

My hand was already hovering over my Jormy macro when...

Supervisor>> No, no.
Supervisor>> It's been taken care of.

Taken care of?

Funny... I don't remember hearing anyone screaming.

[GM]Dave>> Sir...
[GM]Dave>> What exactly does that mean?
Supervisor>> We closed all of their accounts.
Supervisor>> And sent them letters.

Letters?

LETTERS?!

WHAT THE SWEET MOOGLE HELL?!

[GM]Dave>> Sir... Another question...
[GM]Dave>> By "letters", do you mean "explosives"?
Supervisor>> No, Dave.
Supervisor>> No explosives.
[GM]Dave>> I don't think I understand...

He said a lot of words after that. Stuff about treating each customer with respect, treating them like people.

I didn't catch a lot of it.

From what I did catch, it amounted to "no killing".

Instead, he informed us that we would be spending the majority of the day dealing with customer service questions relating to the bannings.

Yay. Customer service.

I'm sure I'll regret screaming "BURN HIM!"

Any minute now...

Tomorrow: The Aftermath

ROFL, What the sweet moogle hell XDDDDDDD Classic GMDave, just classic. /clap

could we have had all those links in the same thread? lol
im not even gonna try to keep up with all that

On a side note, GM>DAVE rocks!

Oh the more I read his works, the more I wish he actually existed <3

I'm not gonna bother here.. I posted my .02 cents in his 3 posts...