Same Old Bs Whole New Day.

I support what everyone's been saying thus far: Most of the players I've seen have always had a fixation on self-improvement first and foremost. What helps tremendously is having friends--and I mean friends, not acquaintances or people you've known or been around for a long time. Honestly, the old standard I used to have of "help and be helped" has long since been stamped on, but the standard of helping friends without a moment's thought, as far as I've seen, hasn't.

There's just something to be said about what we're willing to do for the ones within our circle of trust.

I feel like an *** for telling you to drink rum.
I'm sorry.
Drink water, and go out and ride a bike.
Ride your troubles away.
I'm not kidding, it works.
Stop reading this, and go do it nao.

i'd like to think that for most of us, that circle of close friends is why we're still playing a near decade old game

if you're just after shinies, there are games where you can get shiner shinies with a more active community

i think that playing the game without a specific group of friends to hang out with would be a pretty bleak experience at this point

Let me assume, your main is rdm?
Lulz, this will happen to you so so often it's not a joke... People want your rdm, yet they don't want to help it give it anything AND when you need help you get this
'Your rdm, You can solo it'


True story.
Time to start being a bigger *** and more selfish maybe you will go somewhere.

Also, when you join a linkshell, social or event, you don't help people right away, You sit down and you analyze who is a leecher, who uses people, and who genuinly helps others.

It's ok to expect help from other people when you help them, nothing wrong with that, it's only fair, but you need to analyze if the other person is using you like a tool or is going to eventually give back the favor.

If you get kicked because not wanting to help, then better off that way, your nobody's slave except your own.

I once joined a social linkshell, hence social, good friend invited me, well apparently one of the sack holders was new at the game and wanted me to forcefully help him on Promys, I told him no, even after he just manipulated the situation and said 'Ok so when you do promys take me' I still denied, because 1. I am new to ls 2. He didn't ask in the first place, he just commanded. 3. WTF- i dont want to. So he proceeded to be an *** at me and kick me.

As I recall, I joined a social linkshell for chatting, never signed a contract to do anything for anyone.

Maybe you've been in 10 linkshells in the past week, so what ? It's not the quantity, it's the quality. I advice you to find a stable endgame linkshell, with a good historical background and go from there. Your doing endgame for yourself no one else.

You're*

you cant go by what someone Else says on FFXI. should take that advice in RL aswell. most ppl on this game are *** to those who are *** to them. Cant believe what others say unless you see it for yourself. Not everyone has server jumped for reasons that are someone stealing a bank or ninja lotting an item. so to listen to some random person about someone server hopping is silly. that couldve been the shell to get you the item you wanted. so you might have screwed yourself.

to hop from 5 lses shows you don't have patience, you're not the only person in ls to want/need an item. if you want ***so bad should make your own ls. but going by your attitude, seems you would be all about yourself since you've been "screwed" so many times.

Is this inability to trust based on anything, or just a flimsy excuse for something we don't know about? There's bound to be at least a few long established endgame shells on your server. If you can't get in them it's either due to your available jobs/gear or you conflicted with too many members. The first is easily fixed, the other is your own fault if it was a serious matter.

Then take it as a listen and make your own ls, its not hard to run events just have to have patience and a high tolerance lvl to deal with airheads.

if your server doesn't have endgame lses, then make your own. set your own rules to be fair for everyone. you know what fairness is.

doesn't hurt to try.

think a lot of ppl that play this game have gone through the same thing.

just learn from it and move on?
you can complain about it all day but you wont gain from it but more headache and build bitterness. better to just try to get things done yourself, or make a shell and show ppl what fairness is.

and yet you want to stay for one single person that is never online, I think your kind of bringing this up on yourself.


Historical Background, there has to be one top linkshell on your server no matter what, otherwise I would've switched so long ago.

whut

Read wiki and learn?

Again, not trying to be an ***, but that was a mistake as well.. There's virtually no consequences for screwing someone over in-game, however, when you know the people IRL, and live in the same city/have the same friends/know where each other lives/works/etc.. Things are just a bit different, there's extra incentive to be upfront and honest.. One of the main reasons screwing people over in the game is as prevelant as it is, is simply because of the anonymity of the internet, period.

I'm willing to bet 3/4 of the people who get *** over in the game, wouldn't have, if they knew the person who did it IRL..

Even if you've been playing since launch, and have known one person since that time and done everything together, you should never just assume they're honest and won't take advantage of an oppurtunity if given that oppurtunity..

I've known a few people for years upon years in-game, that I haven't ever met IRL, but that doesn't mean I'm just going to automaticlly assume they wont' try to screw me over if say, I got a Kclub to drop... I would wait til they passed, and if they lotted, guess what.. I'd be putting myself to quartermaster. There's only two people I trust enough to not have to do that (other then fact that they know i would split it with them anyways) and I know BOTH IRL, infact, one of them is my wife, the other is my best friend who've I've known so long I can't even tell you exactly how many years we've known each other. (I just usually round it off to third grade, I'm a couple months from 25 now, so like, what.. 17 years?)

My IQ just dropped 50 points reading this thread, thanks.

You're welcome, now you're down from 75, to 25... So not really that much worse off.. :x No one will notice.

something more is needed....

Patience
Experience
Dedication
Leadership
Time
A trust worthy left hand to help.



etc.

Can't learn patience all that well, rest would come after reading Wiki and then doing it.

Trial and error always works too ^^b

Perhaps this is your problem. No one trusts someone who doesn't trust anyone else (believe me, I've seen this happen to plenty of people in this game). Being trusting in others and outwardly expressing it has merited me a lot of trust in return.

But without a story of how you think you were backstabbed or whatever though, I can't really understand where you come from. Do you feel screwed out of deserved items? Welcome to the club, everyone feels that way every once in a while. That will be a part of every single linkshell, and if you don't want to feel that way, then you might as well stop looking for a linkshell, or end up like the leaders of these failed linkshells you described and start your own.

It's really difficult for a linkshell to start up, even assuming the leader knows what s/he's doing. Not only does it take time to build up enough competent leaders/members, but it's hard to build up the trust it takes for a good linkshell from scratch. Brand new linkshells will go through a lot of people who are new to endgame and don't realize how much effort it takes to see results. They'll give up the second they feel like they aren't getting what they want. Not every linkshell ends up like that though, some of them are lucky enough to find dedicated and skilled members to last long enough for the linkshell to build some reputation, which in turn leads you to find better members. And you've just gotta find a linkshell like that.

My first two "endgame" linkshells were really just composed of a bunch of noobs killing Serket and Roc (well come on, this was six years ago). First one merged into the second, second one broke when the LS leader ran off with the drops, including a staff that was supposed to go to me. Was I sad? Yes. I was sad for the leader, ruining his reputation like that for such a silly thing; I was sad for everyone in the linkshell, they were upset and angry and frustrated and I didn't want people to feel that way; but was I sad for myself? Not really, life moves on.

And now I think I'm lucky as hell--been in one endgame LS for just over five years now and it's filled with some of the greatest people/players I've met in this game, and possibly in my life. But even then, we had some very selfish sacks and members that came and went, even one that ransacked my account and RMT'd everything. Those people are just one part of FFXI, but not all of it, and I'm not going to let them spoil the fun I have with the rest of the people.

But I can tell you this. If you don't make some friends, if you don't build trust with others, you're not going to find whatever it is that you're looking for in this game.

game is good... no point in playing it thoug if you all your going to do is get stressed over people and everything... got screwed over? move on? got it again and again and you think its the world not you? then move servers, you have like so many different options, and comming into forums whinning about it doesn't really change it.

If you're afraid to start an endgame ls due to trust issues and inexperience, why don't you first try leading a social ls. Would at least help with the trust issues and lack of friends. Good thing about them is that you can start off by finding people who need this or that mission or item that you need and build a static to help everyone get it, this is a good way to meet people and build friendships. And, it might seem like I'm telling you to stick your neck out there all over again... but whatever ls you're in now try to offer help or be willing to help anyone in ls who asks for it, and do it without expecting help back immediately, but maybe afterward offer to add them to your flist and help them with other things later. If they're on your flist, you start to do things with them more regularly and get to know them, they'll be that much more likely to help you when you need help. Some won't, but that's really a small price to pay when you realise that so many people in this game are willing to help their friends still. You just have to get out there and make those friends, be social.

CoP static gogo.
Nyzul static gogo.
some assault static gogo.
BCNM static gogo.


really so many ways to start off a small good social ls IF thats what you want.

Hi Agles. Remember me? I know the feeling but past expeeriences go nowhere in this game now. If you just want missions sit in WG half the day and be done with it. Im sure eventually we'll meet up ingame and do something.