You can't allot attribute points for DOH/DOL.
For THM, I went with INT then PIE. This is debatable, as some people will tell you you should do MND for your secondary trait, for the MACC. I can't argue with anyone who says this. But I went with PIE because it affects enfeebling magic skill. MACC has a materia and is relatively easy to come by, whereas enfeebling is less so.
For CON, you want MND then VIT. I don't think anyone will argue that. MND for obviously reasons and VIT for enhancing magic skill and HP+
AS far as the melee jobs go I'm not as informed but it seems like people stick to the main 2 or go with DEX as secondary
Hadn't been on my DOH above lvl 10 enough to pay attention to the fact you can't add attributes.
As for what you said about the DOM/W, you're pretty on par for what I was thinking. I've mostly concerned myself with STR and VIT on Mar, but I have tossed a few DEX in there. Since they aren't all permanent, and gear is scarce low lvl, I figured a landed weaker attack is always better than a whiffed attack.
I'm only 13 on THM, but I've got a bro-in-law that plays as a Taru and I want to rape his on DMG just like I used to do w/ BLM in XI as a hume against all the Tarus.
EDIT: 1 Post as my XIV character.